Tiresome

I’m starting to get tired at this. I want to start doing things again; I have studies I need to attend and I want to go biking again. I don’t even know when or if it’s going to end. When I think about the reason for my depression and fatigue this time was improper healthcare it makes it worse. All I would have needed was a phone call once or twice per week for a few weeks – that’s it.

The cancer and chemotherapy changed me so much that I’m no longer myself. The person that I am is not who I want to be. I’ve pinned all hope on getting help on the 24th but I’m starting to think that my hopes are too high – no one have really cared for the past ten or so years and seeing how the decline in quality in Swedish healthcare have affected other groups of patients, why would this be any different?

I just want to be able to study or work part-time, to be able to exercise and get my own place and travel.

Instead the days keep coming and going – it felt like yesterday it was New Year’s, but it’s been three and half months – that’s one quarter of the year just gone. I haven’t done anything worthwhile, I’ve made no progress. Evidently the days turned in to months and then all disappeared. I’m just tired of being stuck but I have absolutely no energy left in me and I don’t know why. It just seems pointless. I’m not even sure why I wrote this post.

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